Endless Pee, a Busy Weekend and a Sharpie...

So I have been having nearly a week of those “you've got to be kidding” days. Ya know, those days where things keep happening and you just think to yourself, "Seriously???? I mean, come on now." Well, that has been occurring nearly every day since last Wednesday. Let me begin.

It all started last week when I was husbandless. The week was long. The week was rough. The week seemed NEVER-ENDING. Wednesday is the day I drive carpool for Layla's preschool. She had her pumpkin patch field trip that day (it was conveniently located at the front of her school/church), so I dropped her off and prepped me and Livi to go back by 10:15. Livi and I arrived on time (huge feat), and Layla sprinted over to greet us. All happiness so far. First up was a hayride around the church which was glorious times. Next was your choice of picking your pumpkin, a baby pool filled with corn kernels (sensory situation), a mini moonbounce, a maze, and face/hand painting. Now normally I would have enjoyed each one to the fullest... but oh wait, I have a psychotic child that decides that 22 months old is the perfect time to practice for those terrible twos. Now I have never dealt with that child with the blood-curdling scream, arched back, straight-up bitterness and anger. Well. I can check that one off the list. I have now. Olivia decided that whatever she wanted to do was exactly what was going to occur, and if that didn't happen... well, watch out. I was that mom. The one that you pity, assess how she handles it, and feel so so SO happy that it is not your child. Yep. That was me at the pumpkin patch. I was so involved in dealing with Olivia that I got one lone picture of Layla the entire time. 

I know. She still looks adorable. But ONE picture? I am semi-heartbroken. So to deal with Olivia's wrath I just had to remove her from the situation and take her home. I just couldn't. 

Wednesday evening arrived and a wonderful girlfriend came over to drink wine and catch up. My focus was that it was the last night I would be alone. I let Summer and Layla fall asleep in my bed, thinking it would be an easier process. Sidenote... I just need to remind myself that it is NEVER easier and just do it the normal way every night. After a schmillion times of hearing "Mom, I have something to tell you." Or "Mom, Layla is kicking me." Or "Mom, we are telling each other just one more story." (okay that one is cute), those two FINALLY fell asleep in my bed. I go up to bed, SO excited this will be the last night I am alone, and transfer Summer to her bed and Layla to hers. I go back to my room ready to dive into my nice comfy bed when I lie down in fully soaked sheets. Obviously Layla peed through her pull-up. So not only are my sheets peed through, but now hers are dirty because I didn't realize it until now. Awesome. I have to awkwardly wake her up to not only strip her sheets but change and clean her as well. Ehh whatever, all she really needs is blankie to sleep so I put a random blanket down over her mattress and she is out. I strip my sheets, but decide to wait until morning to wash everything. I am far too tired. I put a random top sheet down on top of the mattress, grab an extra blanket, and fall dead asleep.  

At last it was Thursday, finally the day Matt would be home. He was driving home from North Carolina so I knew he wouldn't be around until the evening. The morning was the usual chaos of breakfast, brushing teeth, getting dressed, doing hair, making lunch, packing Summer’s backpack, getting her to the bus stop (with the other two still in pajamas of course). I finally was able to wash both my sheets and Layla’s sheets and remake the beds. So Matt's aunt and cousin were visiting from out of town so they brought over his grandma (and his cousin's new baby son) for lunch. We had a great afternoon of catching up and enjoying each other's company. Summer was taking her first Spanish class after school (she can roll her r's like a true native speaker, I swear) so instead of her coming home on the bus I had to pick her up at 4:15. Everyone left around 4 (after bringing us lunch, cleaning my kitchen and folding my laundry… Can they come over more often?), and I went and got Summer. Her big words from the day that she learned were “no” (what am I paying for???) and “grey” in Spanish. Hmm. Anyways, I finally addressed my gas light (which had essentially been screaming at me) and decided that the seven miles I had left just wasn't going to cut it. I went to get gas, and finally got home around 4:30. 

Now last week a dear, wonderful friend passed away suddenly, and the viewing was Thursday evening. She was the mother of friends who are basically family and “Grandma Pat” was truly one of the best. This is something we would never dream of missing. I was going to get a sitter, but my mother-in-law and brother-in-law were going to come with me so I figured that would be enough help. It actually worked out that Matt was going to meet us there. Of course my plan for the day just was not thought through. I didn't shower in the morning or even think about outfits for me or the girls. I am in theory supposed to have us all ready by around 5:15... and it is currently 4:30. I frantically jump in the shower while racking my brain about what to wear. I am a mom or a nurse, so viewing-appropriate clothing is just not something I have. I find a pair of black pants that must be from college that I throw on with a random top. Of course the belt that would bring the outfit into this decade was absolutely nowhere to be found, due to my stupid reorganization projects. A different one that is supposed to go around the waist (not hips) is the only one I can find. I can make it work but I need another hole in it. Not to worry, Ben (brother-in-law) can do that. I grab random outfits for the girls, start getting them dressed, allow my mother-in-law to take over that job. I grab a few snacks, thank Ben for the new hole in the belt, and voila, we are on our way. Traffic, of course. Now in my rush and not thinking properly, I hadn't really processed how long this ride would be. Ben drove my car (yay), but it took no less than an hour. If you remember previous blogs, you will have learned something about one of my dear, adorable daughters. I did a mommy fail in a major way. I forgot dramamine. Just MINUTES before we were to arrive, Layla got carsick and threw up everywhere. Here is my text to/from Matt, when I was sort of in awe of what just happened.

So my mother-in-law was sitting in the way back with Summer so she was frantically trying to clean her up with the wipes I was frantically throwing at her. In order to keep the smell down, I put down my window which was directly in front of Olivia who was laughing HYSTERICALLY at the wind whipping her hair everywhere. I hadn't realized that she took her pigtails out (which are tiny clear elastics and could never be found again). Awesome. So we get to the funeral home with one covered in puke and the other with hair literally sticking straight out on both sides. AKA, a totally hot mess. I had an extra t-shirt and leggings in the diaper bag so we cleaned Layla up and put that on her, then put her coat over buttoned up so it didn't look like she was completely underdressed for the occasion. I then thought to myself, if these little girls can make at least one person smile here tonight, it will be worth it. And it was. They can make people smile despite smelling like vomit or having psychotic hair. We supported our friends, I was FINALLY reunited with my hubby, and we paid our respects to Grandma Pat. Now of course I hadn't fed them dinner so we all went to a restaurant nearby, which happened to be Mexican/Italian. I know, I have never been to a place like that either. Thankfully we were the only ones in the place (shocker) and had a reasonably uneventful meal. Drove home, put the girls to bed, and collapsed ourselves.

Friday was some teacher planning day or something, so Summer was off school. Layla was up all night long and woke up with a fever and some respiratory thing so I kept her home from school. Olivia peed through her diaper and woke up totally soaked. Ahhh pee. Stripped her bed, washed her sheets. Feels like my daily routine. So I thought it would be easier with Summer home. Yeahhhh not so much. Now that she is in school and occupied all day long, she required constant attention from me... while I was attempting to work on my friend’s baby shower gift, bake a pumpkin-related dessert for the baby shower, hold Layla essentially the entire day because she felt so miserable and that was all she wanted, find time to go to the store for the other ingredients, go to the toy store for birthday presents for Summer’s birthday parties that weekend, wrap both, etc. They occupied themselves for approximately 3.7 minutes. 

That night we put the girls to bed very early and I finally got to sit down for more than 13 seconds and be with my hubby. We talked, caught up on our TV shows, and stayed up later than we should have. I will not apologize for that one. I had missed him and we needed it.

So Saturday morning I slept later than I intended and I had to kick it into gear. The baby shower in DC was adorable. My gift was a “hospital essentials kit” that included socks, shower shoes, a mini toiletry kit, vending machine money, hair ties, lip balm, my fav comfy nursing bra, a mini bottle of wine, gel pads for breastfeeding, and then the most adorable little sparkly Toms for her daughter. Miniature Toms are just stupid cute. 

I wrote why each item was necessary (first I hand wrote each, cut them out and glued to cute paper. Then I kept getting annoying with my handwriting and typed them up, had to cut them out with a paper cutter, then glued each onto super adorable paper and wrapped each individually with tissue paper and twine... do you see what that was taking me so long on Friday??) The pumpkin cheesecake chocolate bars were delish. Summer got to her birthday parties successfully. Layla appeared to be feeling better. We had made plans FOREVER ago to go to a Caps game with some good friends. It was a great game and good company. While we were at the game I got a text from our babysitter that Layla had peed our bed. Of course she did. So when we got home, I stripped our bed for what felt like the bagillionth time this week. This time she went above and beyond though, because she was able to pee not only all over our sheets (and obviously mattress pad), but on the comforter (which is actually a duvet and duvet cover), AND multiple pillows (mine, of course). So I was far too exhausted to do anything about it so I just stripped the bed (again), and repeated the same thing I did just nights before. Now I do have another set of sheets but I just don't like them as much. I am going to wash the other ones immediately anyways, so it just seems like a wasted step to put the other ones on. Anyways, we dropped dead from exhaustion that night.

Sunday mornings when we are trying to get to a Redskins 1pm game are always hectic. I am always running around getting ready, packing stuff up, etc. Matt is cooking and prepping food. Summer had slept at my mom’s house the previous night after her birthday party but we decided/she begged to come to the game with us, so I was running around attempting to find her clothes (which was more difficult than I anticipated both due to my stupid closet reorganization and the fact that I am behind on laundry). The game was fun and intense but in all honesty I was just exhausted. Summer was a total champ and had a great time. 

On our way home I pretty much looked just like Summer did. 

We got home and unpacked the car. I felt a raging headache coming on, then my body began to ache and my skin hurt. I started to think… if both Matt and I are getting sick at the same time, this will not be good. We put everything away, put on a movie for the girls and went up to bed to lie down. It was 5:30ish. I have a vague memory of hearing Matt feed them dinner and put the girls to bed. Another random moment of Layla coming into bed with me. All I know is that I was still wearing my jersey at 4am but I just wasn't able to move. It was like my body was saying, “Just lie here. Sleep. I am not allowing you to get up so don't even try.” And I didn’t.

The next morning (Monday) I woke up in a panicked haze. I had forgotten to set an alarm, not really thinking I was going to bed for the night. I have Layla in bed with me and she still feels warm/feverish. Crap. I suddenly remember we never did Summer’s homework that is always due on Mondays. The poem book! Her reading! I leapt out of bed, and ran to wake her up. I frantically ran downstairs where I am met with dog poop on the rug. Awesome. I'm not even mad at Emmie because we went to bed so ridiculously early. I go start making Summer breakfast and packing her lunch while she starts on her poem book homework. Of course it is more time-consuming and detailed than it is every other week. She finally finishes it while I am stuffing breakfast down her face and she reads her book in record speed. During all of this mania, Layla comes downstairs. She took a turn for the worse, so no school again for her. I always think to myself when making those decisions, “If someone else sent their kid to school like this, would I be irritated?” The answer was a definite yes, so sobby, clingy, sick Layla was home all day again. I waited for Matt to come downstairs to clean up the poop (Yes, I did. Sue me). We get Summer off to school while Olivia is making her way down the stairs. Oh, she peed through her diaper again. And she seems like she is getting whatever sickness Layla has. Fantastic. I mean, this is getting ridiculous. So I start on the daunting task of our mattress pad, sheets, duvet, duvet cover, pillows, Olivia’s sheets, blanket, pillow. While I am doing all of this, I still just feel like I still smell urine. But it is like nasty smelling urine. Oh wait, it is stronger over in the breakfast area. Oh wait, Emmie PEED IN A GIANT CIRCLE ALL AROUND THE TABLE. Oh wait, it is really awesome we are out of paper towels. And I have cramps. So I am holding two sobbing, sick children, smell urine at every turn, and now I have to somehow clean up dog pee without paper towels. Par for the course. At one point Layla fell asleep on the couch and I had a minute to try to clean up the dog pee a little more thorough. The next thing I know, Layla is standing there sobbing because her pull-up had pulled apart and she had peed while she was sleeping and it was streaming down her legs. Of course it was. I cleaned her up, and barely make it through the rest of the day, but I did finally get everyone’s sheets back on their bed. And I showered and scoured myself from pee smell. I let Layla play some totally random makeup game on my iPad that played R & B music while she 'assisted' this girl into looking better. I mean, this person needed some help. Definite skin issues. 

My wonderful sister made us dinner after she heard of my lovely day. I really don't know what I would do without her. So Monday night we snuggle into our fresh sheets. Around 1:30am, I start hearing little cries of “Mommy!” Layla still feels like crap. I bring her into bed with us but her coughing is out of control. In attempt to help me get ANY sleep, Matt took her downstairs on the couch (I love him)... But I could still hear her hacking up a lung all night.

Tuesday morning arrives and guess who peed through her diaper again? Yup. Olivia. Now I am betting you are thinking like I am thinking. Their diapers/pull-ups suck and I clearly need to limit their evening beverage intake BECAUSE I AM SICK OF WASHING SHEETS!!!! Layla is still not feeling great. She just wants to be held all.day.long. So I set them up with a TV show (literally it is all they have been doing lately) and attempt to clean up and wash more sheets. During that very short window of opportunity, Olivia somehow found herself a PERMANENT marker. Yeap.

Yes, she attempted to keep it on her paper... but most definitely got it on the rug. At that point, I didn't even look elsewhere. I didn't want to know. I didn't even bathe her. I took a deep breath, told myself that it would all be okay, and put her down for a nap. It was the best I could do... and ya know what? It sucked. I sucked. I have pretty much sucked for the past week. But they know I love them. And that is as good as it gets right now. 

Nashville for the weekend with my hubby in T-minus two days. I know I haven't mentioned it... I have been a little busy washing sheets. 

Happy Wednesday! 

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