Planned on a nice, leisurely morning... here is a snippet:
-Start making eggs for the kids. Let the dog out. Child #1 trips over the 47 things on the ground and starts crying. Forget about the dog.
-Start making coffee when there is a knock at the door. Get totally startled (in part because I am not dressed/presentable in any way to see other humans), so coffee is spilled everywhere. Remember the dog is out and figure it is a wonderful neighbor at the door who deals with my flakiness.
-Go to the door. Thankfully it is a wonderful neighbor's daughter so my lack of appropriate clothing is okay. She tells me Emmie is out. I yell for Emmie and she comes running over.
-Smell burning eggs. Start to shut the front door because Emmie ran around back. Child #2 starts screaming because I am shutting the door on her fingers.
-Grab ice for child #2, make sure her fingers aren't broken, take the eggs off the stove, let the dog in. Hear child #3 yelling. Give child #2 gummies (don't judge), and go upstairs.
-Discover child #3 diaperless in her crib, with poop everywhere.
To recap: Dog out, spilled coffee, wonderful neighbors, burnt eggs, smashed fingers, gummies, and poop.
This was the rest of my day:
-Put child #3 in the bath. Scrub her. Strip the crib sheets. Put them in the washing machine. Scrub down the crib. Put extra sheets on the crib.
-Clean up the kitchen from the burnt eggs. Give children cereal and banana for breakfast. Clean up from breakfast.
-Put child #3 down for her morning nap.Try to clean up the rest of the house. Fail at cleaning up.
-Child #3 wakes up. Go in her room and smell poop. Child #3 is yet again, diaperless in her crib with poop everywhere.
--Put child #3 in the bath. Scrub her. Strip the crib sheets. Put them in the washing machine. Scrub down the crib. Put sheets from the first poopy load back on crib.
-Fix lunch. Get ready for doctors appointment for child #2. Drop child #1 and child #3 off at sister's house.
-After doctors appointment, got a treat for child #2... a milkshake from McDonald's (again, don't judge). Give child #2 milkshake in the car.
-Child #2 is exhausted from her nap, and doesn't want to hold her milkshake anymore. She puts it on child #1's booster seat next to her. Milkshake dumps over and spills everywhere. On a highway and can't pull over. Yell for child #2 to pick up the milkshake. She does, and dumps it all over herself.
-Finally get off highway. Pull over and attempt to clean up the milkshake that is everywhere.
-Pick up child #1 and child #3 from sister's. Go home. Emmie gets out while getting everyone inside the house but no one notices.
-Wonderful neighbor #2 knocks on the door and brings Emmie back. Wonderful neighbor #2 asks if child #1 and child #2 want to come over to play and eat dinner with them. Almost kiss wonderful neighbor #2.
-Husband isn't going to be home until super late, so eat cereal for dinner and give child #3 leftovers. Wash child #1's booster seat cover and wipe down rest of the seat.
-Start doing dishes (sink is overflowing). Notice child #3 is quiet. Find this:
-Pour a VERY large glass of wine.
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